Captive

I cry for him, he does not know,

Though, while my tears flow, I worry

And curse myself for not being fit enough

 

At teaching him those things he should know

Better than to do

When away from home,

How to stay true to himself

 

When all others try

to encourage him to do or die

and mischief-make,

or get high.

 

Why is it that others help take

Away that innocence with which we’re born,

And throw us to the wolves?

-we’re torn asunder-

And it’s up to our mothers to mourn

 

Our loss,

So much more than just our physical state.

Those lines we cross

Are simply the bait used to capture

 

And enslave the soul.

 

*Youngest kid is having a couple of very bad weeks at school and I am reminded of some things I did at the same age which resulted in my mom and stepdad using a very extreme form of punishment (but very inventive at the time) to correct my behavior. They took me to the police station near our home and left me sitting in the car with my mom while she discussed why what I did was wrong. My stepdad went inside the building and when he came out he “confirmed” that they did take 7 year-olds to kids’ jail. What did I do that required such an extreme measure? I took some Kool-Aid and candy from the grocery store without paying. Mind you, my mom caught me before we even got out of the store and I had to apologize to both the store manager, whom my mom called over, and to the register clerk. Let’s just say I learned my lesson. But between Tornado’s behavior lately and remembering my own at his age it got me to thinking about how many kids don’t have someone who cares enough for them to help them. And so, their mother’s mourn their loss, both the innocence and the soul that had so much potential.

#OctPoWriMo Day 13-If I Were You

If I Were You

By Jesi Scott

 

If I were you

If you were me

Perhaps you’d see

Perhaps you’d be

The one I’d crave

The one to save

Save my life

Save my world

World in my heart

World torn apart

Apart from this

Apart and dismissed

Dismissed from here

Dismissed to disappear

Disappear from life

Disappear from view

View my hurt

View my pain

Pain everlasting

Pain forecasting

Forecasting to amend

Forecasting the end

End the history

End my misery

Misery of us

Misery in exodus

Exodus of the end

Exodus to begin

Begin again

Begin and feign

Feign these feelings

Feign these meanings

Meanings that lie

Meanings that cry

Cry a river

Cry and deliver

Deliver the package

Deliver the message

Message left behind

Message that’s over

Over and out

Over and without

Without a word

Without a doubt

Doubt you

Doubt me

Me in truth

Me so obvious

Obvious

Truth.

 

* Day 13: to express to someone your point of view using a Blitz poem, not my favorite form. I decided to put more thought and interest in it by making it rhyme as much as I could and to try and make it a little more challenging.

#OctPoWriMo Day 12-Tortured

Non-Disclosure

By Jesi Scott

 

You don’t like what I say?

Silence my words with your

                                Wicked twists.

Knife-stabbed heart through the back,

I turned and you were gone.

                                Blood-dipped fingertips

                                Leaving vermillion-dripped

                                Evidence along the floor.

 

Cut me down to your level,

Force-fed diamond lies you

                                Shove in my throat.

Ignore the damage you leave in your wake;

Hurricane hiding in an empty face.

                                Victim-played the lines greyed,

                                Oath-bound promises filleted

                                And arrayed on a silver platter.

 

Leave me bare now

                                Huddled on the cold, hard floor.

Black-bruised heart left scarred,

You turn your back and go.

                                Unrestrained lies contained

                                Leaving your blood-stained

                                Reputation maintained.

 

*Day 12 of the challenge brings us to feeling tortured. When things don’t go well in a relationship we tend to torture ourselves with thoughts of what we could have done differently. We go over and over the things we said, the actions we took, and we question if we did the right thing. For some the torture happens before things end. We walk on eggshells trying to make decisions that won’t make things worse. Putting out fires before they turn into an inferno becomes the order of the day; being constantly on guard is simply the new normal. In my poem I write about the emotional torment in a dysfunctional relationship.

#OctPoWriMo Day 11-Falling Through the Cracks

Manifest Destiny

By Jesi Scott

 

We mark the hours knowing

The sell-by date is coming.

We ignore the imperfections.

 

So what’s the use in complaining?

The future is already accepted;

We mark the hours knowing.

 

Little things we let slip through,

Those hairline fractures that mar the surface say

The sell-by date is coming.

 

Still we try to hold on to keep from breaking;

We glue the pieces back together while

We ignore the imperfections.

 

* Day 11-Falling Through the Cracks: day 11 deals with imperfections, cracks, letting your guard down, and the resulting fallout. What happens then? I wrote about seeing the cracks coming and holding on in spite of the omniscience. The suggested form is a Cascade.

#OctPoWriMo Day 10-Dancing On Air

Rhapsody

By Jesi Scott

 

One-two-three, one-two-three, one…

Just like that it has begun.

 

One small glance in each direction,

Euphoria-laced confection.

 

Suddenly, we have become obsessed

And walk around like one now possessed

 

Having drunk ambrosia from Love’s own cup

And feasted with Joy: now we offer up

 

That which belongs to Delight and Ecstasy.

We dance together in pleasure, breathlessly,

 

Soaring among the clouds -with rapture we are crowned-

Until once again our feet touch upon the ground.

 

* OctPoWriMo Day 10 prompt: Dancing On Air; suggested form: Con-Verse. Still catching up. Been caring for sick child who is now well and almost 100% again, and have now become ill myself. Will try to write and post when I can.

#OctPoWriMo Day 9-Love

 

Love Is…

By Jesi Scott

 

The warm bath after a long, hard day,

The warmth that chases the cold away.

The cool wind that blows ‘midst the summer heat,

The toe-tapping soul-dancing musical beat.

 

The cosy blanket we snuggle up in,

The jolt that sends us into a tailspin.

The light that shines and shows the rocks ahead,

The reason for spending the rainy day in bed.

 

The reason to hold someone close,

The reason your heart to expose.

The reason for my staying near

Is because love brought you and made you dear.

#OctPoWriMo Day 8-Moments of Madness

Alice and the White Rabbit

By Jesi Scott

 

“Tick tock goes the clock,”

He said in my dream,

Then began a litany of names

That had been mine, it seems.

 

And all day long I wondered why.

What did it even mean?

“Tick tock goes the clock.”

What once was has been.

 

Then he stood behind my back

And brought his arms around.

“Tick tock goes the clock;

Now we two are bound.”

 

His voice was low in my ear,

His breath against my neck.

Tick tock goes the clock,

And I am held in check.

 

Heart-shaped chairs in a white room,

He asked which one I liked.

“Tick tock goes the clock.

Beware the tea is spiked.”

 

So we spin and spin again

Until our legs give out.

Tick tock goes the clock;

All else is left in doubt.

 

Still he holds me in his arms,

My dream is almost done.

Tick tock goes the clock.

Now the real fun has begun.

 

“Tick tock goes the clock,”

His voice in my head.

“Run, run fast as you can…

“Tick tock, tick tock,” he said.

 

*Written during one of my writing sessions over the summer, I had a dream where I was Alice and someone else was the White Rabbit and there was definite madness going on. Since Day 8’s prompt was moments of madness I thought what could be more perfect than a dream about Alice in Wonderland? As for the month’s love theme, well, I hope you get the sense of it in the poem as that was what the dream was about anyway. It all comes down to our choices.

#OctPoWriMo Day 7-Unsent Letters

Star-Crossed

By Jesi Scott

 

Lost goodbyes,

broken promises,

words to say left unspoken,

the should-have-been becomes

the never-meant-to-be…

You,

with hair of jet

and those blue-sky eyes,

that sun-bright smile and hearth-fire voice,

you who hung the moon in her sky

and saw through her self-inflicted invisibility,

do you ever ask “what if”?

Does could-have-been slip through your mind

like a soft caress from her hand?

Does the memory of a girl

with honey hair and storm-cloud eyes,

shy smile and soft, snowfall voice

ever gently embrace you, leaving ghost kisses upon your lips

to fade away with the stars

at the coming of the morning?

 

*Still playing catch-up with OctPoWriMo. Day 7 was to send a letter to someone. This is a re-post of a poem I wrote in 2015, a what-if love letter to someone from my past. In 2015 I was still under the conviction that this person never felt the way about me that I did about them. As of a year ago, I know now that that knowledge may not have been even remotely true. Due to someone else’s interference what is now a what-if could have been a surety, and changed the course of my life. But knowledge is power and this knowledge settles some questions I’ve always carried in my heart.

#OctPoWriMo Day 6-Conquered

Aggravation

By Jesi Scott

 

 

He does it, he says, to get a rise out of me.

Then, when I don’t react the way he wants me to,

He says my response is inappropriate.

 

All because I don’t find it funny,

His constant criticism

Or the one-sided verbal sparring

Where he must always prove himself superior;

 

Those arguments where,

No matter what I say,

The words become knife twists

On his tongue,

 

And he’s the only one finding humor

In the stressful situation

He’s created.

 

And I wonder, after I’ve managed to

Numb the pain once again,

If he thinks I’m so inferior,

Why is he always trying to be right?

 

*Day 6 poem is done. I’m four days late due to illness and only just feeling better today. My poem is about the battle rather than the victory or loss. 

#OctPoWriMo Day 5-Denied

 

Storm Warnings

By Jesi Scott

 

~ Fate whispers to the warrior, “You cannot withstand the storm.”

And the warrior replies, “I am the storm.”

-Anonymous

 

He never saw it coming,

Never saw the clouds crowding the sky.

He never heard the thunder,

And the warning it decried.

 

He simply kept on going

And ignored the rising wind.

Even as the rain fell,

All he did was grin.

 

No matter to him the lightning strikes,

No need to be afraid;

A little huff and puff and noise

Leaves him undismayed.

 

Even as the water rises

And floods his barricaded door,

He never thinks to ask for mercy.

What does he have to answer for?

 

Forget the clouds that fill her eyes,

Reject her feelings with disdain;

Scorn the rain your words made her cry,

Label all her thoughts inane.

 

Take no notice of her racing pulse

Whenever you grasp her breast;

You’ve convinced yourself her no’s are yeses,

That she’s yours to molest.

 

And when in time she’s had enough,

You cannot say you were not warned.

We never said you were the warrior;

We said, “Beware the storm.”

 

* No explanations. Today we write about being denied.