Last Request

Now I lay me down to sleep.

For my bones, do not weep.

 

I do not lay here wanting grief;

In my rest I’ve found relief.

 

No more worrying over day to day affairs;

No more crying over unhappy cares.

 

In the earth I now have peace;

In the quiet all has ceased.

 

All my sorrows are washed away;

No more suffering, no more dismay.

 

Weep not, I say, for what is gone

Look to others, look to your own.

 

Care for those who continue to struggle,

Care for those who cannot juggle

 

The mind’s chess game with them as pawn.

Weep for the living, those who walk alone.

 

Turn your eyes and hands to them,

Let your love be their stem.

 

For it may be their life was spared

Because of you and those who cared

 

To see the pain behind their tears,

Who understood and calmed their fears.

 

Then come the morning and the rising sun

Come to me and say, “Thy will was done.”

 

And I will smile in my sleep

Because you did not weep.

 

*Probably a good idea to not snack too close to bedtime…you know, in case you wake up crying from a dream you can’t remember and the lines to a poem running through your head and neither will let you get back to sleep.

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Tempest

despair

Big grey clouds are covering my skies lately. Every so often there’s a

break where the sun shines through but then,

too quickly,

the clouds eat it up again. I’m flailing here.

I don’t know what to do,

so all I can do is simply sit

and wait until the storm begins and, then,

ride it out.
It’s tiring, this waiting.

I try to build up a sand-bag partition because

I know it will flood

but the bags are so heavy and I tire from the work.

Besides, it’s just sand in the bags. One rip and it all washes away

and the water will still continue to trickle through. Or else,

the sand will absorb only so much of the water and then that’s it.

It can take no more.

Maybe I’m the bag of sand.
Sometimes I’m the water,

threatening to rage across the land,

devour everything in my path. I could, you know; it wouldn’t be hard.

Drown everyone and everything so that nothing’s left

but me and my misery.

Then slowly I’d recede back to the nothing I came from and

we’d begin again.

Start fresh;

let the green things take over.
Maybe I should let the flood overtake me.

Let it fill my lungs and drive the air from my body.

That’s what it wants to do.

Drowning couldn’t hurt more than this

power struggle between us every day.

Blood sacrifices were sacred, once upon a time, and,

God knows,

I’ve bled gallons that dripped into

this salt-water Niagra my tears created.
But I can’t do that.

Instinct forces me up to fight

(I’ve never been much good at flight),

so here I am

building up the wall again

as I wait for the storm to burst.

 

*therapy writing today using poetic medicine. It does your emotional health good.

I see you

I see you - welltemperedbards.wordpress.com

I see you.
I know you cry
Bewailing the lost dreams
And wondering why
Your life turned out this way
Choices you made
Choices made for you
Times you went astray
And how you stuck
To your principles, to your guns
And hoped that luck
And circumstance
Wouldn’t cut you dead
Or leave too much to chance
But still you hang your aching head
In tired hands and wonder
How to cope now your world
In spite of your precautions, was ripped
Asunder, driving you off the edge
Into overwhelm and exhausted left you
At a ledge – the very precipice of self
No-one could save you, yet you held
Onto what you couldn’t trust
But hoped was right
Somewhere in the depths of your darkest night
You turned to diamond glory
And now I stand in awe, as you unveil
Your story, now written in victory
In love, in light, in rainbow hues
Bright skies and summer days without end
And I watch, SO proud to call you Friend.

 

For Hasty, whose friend I am ALWAYS and endlessly delighted to be ❤

No Need

I have no need of me

 

Let’s make this all about you

For the sake of it -we can

I can’t even remember now

Where it all began

Somewhere on the path of life

I took a wrong turn; made it right

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

We can talk the sorrow through

And weave fantastic plans

Just close your eyes – I’ll show you how

This fantasy demands

I’m basking in the evening beams

On crazy-paving; sunset dreams

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

My sometimes fragile jester-mind

Crowds in with shadows – empty space

Take everything away from me

There’s nothing here you can’t replace

No tears for this – I’m done crying

I’m ridiculous; it’s time – I’m flying

I want you

But I have no need of me

 

If you could reach me, p’raps you might.

My unplugged heart no more aspires

To change the world would do more good

Then hang myself between the wires

Yea, could I wish me fish or bird

In life; in write; in flight, absurd

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

So tie my mind in silly string

My veins will sparkle twinkliness

I’ll never leave, I cannot change

A staunch addict to darkness

Cut me and I’ll bleed in words

Whatever else you might have heard

I love you,

But I have no need of me.