Stop, drop and exit

No Love Lost

 

Slide-shifting excuses like sunshine through trees

Pinning shadows to mirrors in efforts to see

But no rhyme or good reason conjoins you to me

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

I’ve not paid attention to things that I should

Lost hours in daydreams, none of which come to good

I’ve spent too much time on “If only I could…”

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

The stars in your eyes were the place I got caught

Though slowly I’ve realised I’ll always fall short

My untutored heart needed this lesson taught

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

Will it e’en reach your radar, this thunderstorm news?

Ignore this blip, else trust turns into abuse.

I know I won’t cuckold the one who you choose

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

I need to re-frame – get some air – change my view

Unhook from this refrain – make everything new

If I’d only stop wishing and wishing for you

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

This tempest will calm and the feelings will fade

I’ll have no more need of this vain masquerade

But know you were much-needed light to my shade

It’s time now to stop, drop and exit:

It’s time for goodbye.

 

 

 

 

That old refrain

I have no need of me

 

Entrapped by insufficiency like hunger turning in

Seduced by my inadequacy and drowning in my skin

Undone, uncaring, giving up – I let the demons win

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

I hear your pretty words but I’m beyond your kind of wise

There’s blood beneath my nails and only darkness in my eyes

Through poetry I know I live my truths in plain disguise

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

You pin me to existence but it’s not the life I want

Deny! Deny! Deny! I toe-tap-whistle; nonchalant

Release me; keep me; break me – I could be your doll to flaunt

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

Effacing my existence voids a mirror of derision

You could ne’er make me regret or change this wrong decision

Yet I stumble, finding fault; requiring more revision

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

I didn’t want to fall but these things follow no-one’s plan

The sting and smart and shock serves to remind me that I am

Enigma, liar, hypocrite -untrustworthy; a sham

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

And yet you love me, Anyway… and wrap me round with light

You tell me that I’ll be okay – to not give up the fight

I wish I could relinquish this and let you prove you’re right

I want you, but I have no need of me.

 

 

Let the water rise

Questionable love

 

A storm of sweet intensity like sudden summer rain

Your raindrops fall like bullets and I’m armourless again

I’m drenched and want to dance with you, but know I must refrain

So let the water rise as I fall drown

 

Not ready to recover yet; your whispers keep me breathing

I’m second-guessing nuances between the lines I’m reading

My soul could cope with ignorance but draws the line at thieving

So let the water rise as I fall drown

 

My sun-slicked heart denies the soon; the Now is ours to treasure

What worth in reasoned life, to me? Such love I cannot measure

Dismantle me – take every part – consume me at your leisure

So let the water rise as I fall drown.

 

Fie on my malfeasant soul, which shadow sparks and glims

With fingertips you blur and blur the line ’til all else dims

Bend me; break me; keep me, and absolve me of my whims

So let the water rise as I fall drown.

 

 

Crush

Icarus Falling

It’s morning in my automaton world

Life doesn’t seem to start ’til you’re awake

Dragging by instead in gloaming shadows

My vision greyed, before daybreak

 

My ridiculous wishing hours

Dreamed away, will come to naught

Every fantasy an act of dumb futility

Designed, dismissed – they need to be forgot

 

Surveying you with dream-strewn thoughts

What love is this if spangled full of care

Desiring truths but living half in lies

It nonetheless seeks to destroy what’s there

 

Firsthought of my heart on waking

Last-thought. Everthought. In too deep.

Was this encouraged? Or did I just indulge

The way I sometimes see you in my sleep?

 

Reality will crash and burn quite soon

I feel the storm, and t’will be no surprise

I must release, let go, let life consume me

Erase the image of you behind my eyes

 

I know the fix, the purge, the white-hot pain

Of excise, for somehow I must be leaving

Or I’ll come undone, unravelled but

E’en thinking this I find I’m barely breathing.

Unhook

I have no need of me

 

Somewhere in the place twixt sleep and awake

Somewhere in a world without heartache

Fix your eyes on the stars and keep going ’til I break

Unhook! Unhook!

Or this will make me pay.

 

Lost within the guiles of my own mind

Charming me with dreams I wish defined

My future, but my path’s already signed

Unhook! Unhook!

Could this lead you astray?

 

It’s likely overreaction to your care

‘Gainst life, offset, so bright but going nowhere

For now, I’m jealous – I don’t want to share

Unhook! Unhook!

What toll will this make us pay?

 

Just let me be a child with wayward heart

Let me indulge in all that you impart

Just wait – I’m not yet ready to restart

Unhook! Unhook!

I’m lost, but I don’t want to find my way.

Reality checks

Heart

 

Times inside my mind spent

In glorious, sun-kissed haze

Turning everything around me

Alight, on fire, ablaze

The teenager I never was

Is reveling in these days

But reality checks and everything crashes down.

 

My heart begins to sparkle

On the edge of fantasy

Oh, the distance I would cross

To make you real to me

Our lives could be so perfect

And love win, eventually

Then reality checks, and everything crashes down.

 

Not ready to relinquish yet

This silly, pointless game

Let me imagine holding you

And whispering your name

Let me conceive of happiness

In light; in love – insane

Reality checks – and everything’s crashing down.

 

No more, no more! I’ll check these thoughts

Lest I get too confused

If you could only read my mind

You’d be…alarmed? Amused?

I’ll cling to this – our futures

Are in someway, somehow fused

Reality checked – already t’was all crashed down.

No Need

I have no need of me

 

Let’s make this all about you

For the sake of it -we can

I can’t even remember now

Where it all began

Somewhere on the path of life

I took a wrong turn; made it right

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

We can talk the sorrow through

And weave fantastic plans

Just close your eyes – I’ll show you how

This fantasy demands

I’m basking in the evening beams

On crazy-paving; sunset dreams

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

My sometimes fragile jester-mind

Crowds in with shadows – empty space

Take everything away from me

There’s nothing here you can’t replace

No tears for this – I’m done crying

I’m ridiculous; it’s time – I’m flying

I want you

But I have no need of me

 

If you could reach me, p’raps you might.

My unplugged heart no more aspires

To change the world would do more good

Then hang myself between the wires

Yea, could I wish me fish or bird

In life; in write; in flight, absurd

I want you,

But I have no need of me.

 

So tie my mind in silly string

My veins will sparkle twinkliness

I’ll never leave, I cannot change

A staunch addict to darkness

Cut me and I’ll bleed in words

Whatever else you might have heard

I love you,

But I have no need of me.