Last Request

Now I lay me down to sleep.

For my bones, do not weep.

 

I do not lay here wanting grief;

In my rest I’ve found relief.

 

No more worrying over day to day affairs;

No more crying over unhappy cares.

 

In the earth I now have peace;

In the quiet all has ceased.

 

All my sorrows are washed away;

No more suffering, no more dismay.

 

Weep not, I say, for what is gone

Look to others, look to your own.

 

Care for those who continue to struggle,

Care for those who cannot juggle

 

The mind’s chess game with them as pawn.

Weep for the living, those who walk alone.

 

Turn your eyes and hands to them,

Let your love be their stem.

 

For it may be their life was spared

Because of you and those who cared

 

To see the pain behind their tears,

Who understood and calmed their fears.

 

Then come the morning and the rising sun

Come to me and say, “Thy will was done.”

 

And I will smile in my sleep

Because you did not weep.

 

*Probably a good idea to not snack too close to bedtime…you know, in case you wake up crying from a dream you can’t remember and the lines to a poem running through your head and neither will let you get back to sleep.

Removing Oneself from the Equation

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Say you never hurt me. Say it again.

Because maybe then, as you say it, it will be true.

Yes, this is how we are now. This is how we’ve always been,

You’ve just ignored your part in the process.

As you said, actions speak louder than words,

and, baby, your actions are a fucking war zone.

Go ahead, say you never hurt me.

The scars on my heart tell a different story.

Broken

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Tell me to keep going one more time

Because you think I can do it

Tell me everything is possible

As long as I want it bad enough

Oh, but don’t you know

 

Sometimes the pain is too much

And I’ve no more stamina

My endurance is pushed to its limits

And I can’t keep going.

 

Where are you then

Where are you then

When I’m on my knees

I’ve given in

Where are you then

Where are you then

 

Take these pills

It will get better

Keep going

You’re made of strength

 

Oh, but don’t you know

Determination only goes so far

When the demons come out to play

And don’t you know, oh, don’t you know

They know where my darkest fears reside

 

Where are you then

Where are you then

When the world attacks and my cave crashes in

Where are you then

Where are you then

When I’ve given in

 

Keep your blue stripes

Keep your rainbow ribbons

I’ve got no more stamina

Endurance pushed to the limits

It’s time to simply…

 

STOP!

 

*Not everything can be cake and ice cream days. Sometimes you’ve got to just let the storm rage and make it through. Not that it’s raging for me currently but somewhere someone’s storm is hurricaning through them. (Yes, I made that a verb.) This is what it feels like for me when I just can’t take anymore “helpful” consolation, even though I know they mean well.

Sing, Black Bird, Sing

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Sing, little Black Bird, sing your song,

Tell us all where we went wrong.

Sing, little Black Bird, tell us the truth,

How it all started in earth’s early youth.

 

Sing, little Black Bird, tell the awful tale,

How hate and violence tried to prevail.

But sing, little Black Bird, sing also of kindness;

Tell us of those others, our greatest and finest.

 

Sing, little Black Bird, tell us why

You wear those ribbons waving high.

Sing, little Black Bird, sing your song-

To come together is to be strong.

 

Sing, little Black Bird, sing to remember,

Those who were lost that mid-September.

Sing little Black Bird, never let us forget:

Hate and violence lead to regret.

 

*In remembrance for many things.