#OctPoWriMo Day 12-Tortured

Non-Disclosure

By Jesi Scott

 

You don’t like what I say?

Silence my words with your

                                Wicked twists.

Knife-stabbed heart through the back,

I turned and you were gone.

                                Blood-dipped fingertips

                                Leaving vermillion-dripped

                                Evidence along the floor.

 

Cut me down to your level,

Force-fed diamond lies you

                                Shove in my throat.

Ignore the damage you leave in your wake;

Hurricane hiding in an empty face.

                                Victim-played the lines greyed,

                                Oath-bound promises filleted

                                And arrayed on a silver platter.

 

Leave me bare now

                                Huddled on the cold, hard floor.

Black-bruised heart left scarred,

You turn your back and go.

                                Unrestrained lies contained

                                Leaving your blood-stained

                                Reputation maintained.

 

*Day 12 of the challenge brings us to feeling tortured. When things don’t go well in a relationship we tend to torture ourselves with thoughts of what we could have done differently. We go over and over the things we said, the actions we took, and we question if we did the right thing. For some the torture happens before things end. We walk on eggshells trying to make decisions that won’t make things worse. Putting out fires before they turn into an inferno becomes the order of the day; being constantly on guard is simply the new normal. In my poem I write about the emotional torment in a dysfunctional relationship.

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Where the Scars Don’t Show

desolacion

Red screams fill my blue skies,

Anguish overflows these tortured eyes.

In my world of truth

There’s a river of hurt left by you.

 

Cut me, and I bleed down to the bone,

Stitched-up heart with broken-glass hope.

Leave me here upon that desolate shore,

To live, to love, nevermore.

 

Let the ravens come now and pick me dry,

No more living in a world built on your lies.

Beyond love’s desire-colored veil,

Beyond your reach, there I will dwell.

 

*I always say that words have power…and some words are meant to cut deep. I’ve found that, once the invisible “blood” has dried, there’s an emptiness, a hollowness, a numbness that descends upon you. Whether it’s a respite for healing or simply limbo until the next verbal offense comes, I don’t yet know. But that’s where you can find me tonight.