Less Than Ideal

Image result for broken things

Hold the broken pieces in your hand of the vase you bought,

So perfect, not quite the same as the one you really wanted,

But almost perfect enough that you glue the pieces back

Though it can never hold real flowers in water again.

 

So it holds silk flowers-

silver medal never gold,

Second best never good enough

As the first, the original.

Now it’s flawed forever

Scarred forever marred forever.

 

Can never hold water again.

Can never be whole again.

Can never be perfect again.

Can never be the one you said you wanted.

Can only be hidden, faced to a wall,

Boxed up locked up

Might as well be thrown away

For it’s not worth the effort

To recycle reuse repurpose

The pieces into something

more beautiful than the original.

 

It’s not worth the effort to love it more now

Than when you bought it…

Because it isn’t what you wanted in the first place.

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Removing Oneself from the Equation

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Say you never hurt me. Say it again.

Because maybe then, as you say it, it will be true.

Yes, this is how we are now. This is how we’ve always been,

You’ve just ignored your part in the process.

As you said, actions speak louder than words,

and, baby, your actions are a fucking war zone.

Go ahead, say you never hurt me.

The scars on my heart tell a different story.

Reject. Refuse. Discard.

No Love Lost

 

Sometimes I don’t know why you even asked.
It’s not as though the world was on your case
Or convention taking you to task
For not yet getting hitched.
Yet ask you did,
And I
Fie!
Said yes,
Because you’re good and kind
And the sort of person who SHOULD
Be utterly, perfectly good to spend some time
To spend a life – with and never without you
But all those plans fell through
Although they were beyond our control
And neither of us was equal to the task
Of getting our shattered lives repaired
But sometimes you say things
Which make me wonder WHY you asked
When so much of what transpired
Was the process of us suffocating
One another – love expired
Exchanged for barely-veiled disdain
Irritation, confusion and that old refrain
In every word and look which slips through the guard
“I don’t want you.
I don’t want you.
Life is hard
And you make it worse.
Now it feels like having asked you was a curse
Designed to poison you and me
We’re doomed to fail, eventually
So let’s aid the process with apathy”
Revulsion, repulsion, rejection

And indeed, why bother?
Why sacrifice yourself on the alter
Of the false idol of marriage
When you don’t even like each other
And everything you had got bleached away
By circumstance and happenstance
And a disinclined lover
Who, somehow, you suspect
Maybe
NEVER
Wanted you.

But then, when you decide
It’s over, then
You learn
It’s true.

#NaPoWriMo The Algea

The rending of our sorrow will be heard  The Algea

We cry our raindrop tears
From sodden, marble lids
Let the wind howl our lament
Let it carry from our midst
Around the world
The rending of our sorrow
Will be heard

Our faces staid in masks
Of long-borne grief
Observe the pain of years
Ne’er destined for relief
From this sharp world
The rending of our sorrow
Must be heard

Our lonely arms
Will ne’er embrace elation
Alabaster; raised
In stony supplication
Yielding to the world
The rending of our sorrow
Shall be heard

Our bodies fixed in anguish;
Dolor carved
We cling forever,
Our misery never halved
By this cruel world
The rending of our sorrow
Needs to be heard

Our heartache on display
Eternally
Algos, Akhos, Lupa;
Grievers, we
Lament this world
The rending of our sorrow
Will e’er be heard

 

00NaPoWriMo15

Our prompt today was to write a persona poem; one a bit more serious than other, recent prompts have elicited, and so, being tired of life and in the kind of mood where sadness is hanging in the edges of the air, I wrote of statues, carved forever into their pain – a public spectacle of misery which would result in congratulation for the sculptor and endless sadness for the statues (were they sentient (not in a freaky in-yer-face, Dr Who-style way, either)).

So I researched to figure out who would like as not be turned into such a piece of artistry and upset, and the Algea appeared in my world – three Greek goddesses whose embodiment was grief, sadness, and mental and physical pain. Learn more about them here.