I haven’t been able to keep up with octpowrimo but the great thing is the low stress of the whole event. The prompt for this particular poem is a perfect illustration of this, to basically revisit another prompt. Not reinventing the wheel is perfect for me tonight.
被盗时间
Stolen Time
Preparing for you to leave
we tried to reclaim time spent on the cliché of living a normal life.
Pretending we could go on forever
like some long married couple
who would separate
when death deemed it fit to pilfer one of our ancient spirits.
We embraced the fantasy of growing old
without the influence of illness, or foreign wars.
In our world the need to follow in your father’s righteous footsteps
would never rear its noble head.
Death would wait.
without the influence of illness, or foreign wars.
In our world the need to follow in your father’s righteous footsteps
would never rear its noble head.
Death would wait.
Until word came from the East.
Brothers-the only survivors.
One living in exile
The other a six year old child
protected by his mother’s loving care for over forty two years.
He didn’t understand what we knew all along.
He had a right to believe life would never change.
One living in exile
The other a six year old child
protected by his mother’s loving care for over forty two years.
He didn’t understand what we knew all along.
He had a right to believe life would never change.
We had no such luxury
we attempted to steal it—thieves of denial.
We wouldn’t survive without it,
facing day after day
under the weight of the sword
balanced just above our necks. Z~
we attempted to steal it—thieves of denial.
We wouldn’t survive without it,
facing day after day
under the weight of the sword
balanced just above our necks. Z~
That is really beautiful!
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Such power and menace in your language. Wonderful!
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Stunning, and utterly heart-rending. I can really feel that knife-edge balance. Amazingly done, dear bard.
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I couldn't have said it better than Considerer. Well done!
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Z- this piece took my breath away.
I like the way you use language in the lines, “when death deemed it fit to pilfer one of our ancient spirits” and “thieves of denial” – beautifully written.
Karen
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Oh, the words and the flow… the point made and felt. Fabulous. 😀
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very fine write..
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Thanks Christine. I was hoping it would make some sense to someone besides me!
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Thanks Fred, you always think Im a bit of a menace. I appreciate the read , buddy.
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Thanks Lizzi my partner in rhyme. For obvious reasons I really appreciate your opinion. Im glad you liked it. Its hard to know if it made sense to anyone else.
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Thanks for coming over… I appreciate every read. Im glad you liked it.
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Thanks Karen, Someone mentioned your blog to me yesterday and said “shes a really great writer!” and you know what I think so your opinion is important to me… thanks for always reading and analyzing for me! I need to do more serious writing again.
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I know I said it above but I was worried the point wouldn't be obvious or understood. Thanks for coming over and reading!
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Thanks so much!
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I like how this took me somewhere else for awhile…nicely done!
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I'm a huge fan of your writing (and of you). Your poetry is so beautiful. I like that you allow yourself to be a little bit more vulnerable in that medium. I'm really enjoying your 30 days of poems with Lizzie. Keep em coming ; )
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Thanks Natalie. I appreciate you visiting and reading!
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gorgeous Zoe. I could feel the pain, mixed with the desire for one more day….one more moment of normalcy. The urge to live in denial. *sigh* gut-wrenching but gorgeous.
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I have read this and it wouldn't take my comment, It is a great joy and very painful as well to read it again, It is amazing and exceptionally beautiful xoxox jean
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Looks like my yesterday's comment didn't go through after all. I believe I said “Great imagery, as always. Especially the last line packs a punch!”
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Thanks! I would love a little more normalcy…
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Thanks for being persistent my friend! I appreciate your opinions always.
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Thanks Daniel. Its nice to see you here. Im glad it makes sense to more people than me.
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