And the Rain Still Falls

forest-2

Through my tears I hear a sound

Meant for me alone.

Faintly at first,

Then growing nearer.

The darkness that enfolds me

Is but a faint echo

Of the torment my soul hides.

The night closes in on me,

Accepting me,

Sheltering me.

Closer now,

Louder,

The beating of drums.

Or is it my heart,

Long dead inside this shell

Called a body?

 

And still the rain falls

Around this empty soul

And what the rain hides

Remains a mystery.

For who knows

When the sun will shine again

On this darkening land?

Who knows when

The light will fill this beating heart

Just barely alive

Inside this body.

 

And the autumn forest

Hides all with its deadening leaves,

Covering the earth

With a blanket of mist.

And yet, a lone voice can be heard

Through the stillness.

The sweetness of its sound

Wails through the trees

And fills the void.

 

A shadow of what it once was,

The forest comes alive

With the dawning of a new day.

But the soul that hides inside its shell

Folds deeper inside the darkness.

The sound I hear still beats,

And I am still cold,

And the rain still falls.

 

*Throwback Thursday poem: one I wrote when I was 27. I was halfway through my custody battle with my ex-husband at the time and I was also dealing with feelings of jealousy and learning to overcome that battle. I am very pleased to say I did win that war (with jealousy, that is). I still get pangs from time to time depending on the situation and what is otherwise occurring but I remind myself of how small it makes me feel and how alone, and the feeling goes away.

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3 comments on “And the Rain Still Falls

  1. bobcabkings says:

    This evokes that dark place so well, and I’m glad you did win that battle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Bob. Looking back I can see how depression also played a huge part in how I felt at the time. There was so much happening and I didn’t have time to simply take stock and breathe and gain my footing. Reading this now I can see it running all throughout it. Very glad I got out of that space.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bobcabkings says:

    Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
    Jessica writes of a dark place, remembered, but no longer inhabited.

    Liked by 1 person

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