Oh, the things I’ve missed

Oh, the things I’ve missed
By not being present
By being ‘there but not’
As I’ve waited, waited
Waited
For…what?
For a future never promised?
For a hope yet to unfold?
For a dream set to unravel?
For desires I cannot hold?

Silly things like sunny days
Have gone their way unheeded
(Or heeded in peripheral ways
My attention elsewhere needed)
And bigger things like children’s hopes
Let down, the fault is mine
Though not the blame, for life
LIFE got in the way,
Yet still her little grin will shine
Oh, what I’ve missed
By missing out this time.

And other things; connections lost
Along life’s merry path
For stumbling along those rocky roads
My blinkered eyes horizon-bound
Chilled conversations turned to frost
As friendships, winter found.
I’ve missed them so and missing still
From life, from screen, from mind
And though
Eventually
Those holes will fill
T’will not be of the same kind.

Yet more has fallen
Waysided
As paths divergent went
A laugh, a smile
A light in eyes
Moments which we once were lent
And took our fill, not quenched
Not spent
Hours, within each other, drenched
With all that was and wasn’t to be
I recall those stolen moments’ scent
And daft things like your hair
Your wrists, your knees…
Oh, such things I’ve missed
In missing these.

Happiness too,
Here, in my face
In every second in this place
I have the crutch of wonderous love
Supported now, I still somehow
Look past the familiarity of
That which I’m used to
And so for granted taken
One day I’ll see how good it’s been
How much I’ve needed
How this care, unbreaken since forever
Has been the thing
Holding me
Together

Yet this,
This too
I’ve missed…

And so
It’s now
Or never

Time to find my stumbling way
To seek gratitude in the day-to-day
To value each and every way
The people around me, all ways, always
Show me the truth
I’ve never been without;
I’m connected
Entangled
Enchanted
LOVE is here
(and there
(and everywhere))
And all the time I miss it
It’s me who’s missing out.