A Hasty Response

Hardwired Sunset Heart

Hasty wrote first, and I replied:

Yet what of those whose worlds are like mine?
Whose real role models betrayed and bullied every time
They could; whose cutting words and harsh rejection
Left me insecure, feeling undeserving of affection.
What of those whose worlds are built in words
Whose voices finally are being heard?
And what, for those who need this place beyond the screen
Where suddenly they’re freed to say the things they mean
And gradually, so slowly they begin to trust
That perhaps what others say is true – they aren’t just
Losers, wasted space, ugly, worthless, foul
But maybe, just maybe there’s a chance somehow
That some special someone, somewhere could overlook
The abhorrent way they move; they speak; they look
And without those physical repellants, find their soul
And having found it, like it – accept it whole
Even though the most of it’s a mess
Without clarity, comprehension or finesse
But damaged, broken and trying so hard
To be an acceptable human, having been dealt a card
Which left them utterly bottom of the heap
Unwanted, unlovable, and buried deep
In mounds of other people’s rancid crap
But thinking that it’s theirs, don’t give it back
Instead ingesting every poisoned word
Until shattered, with no resources left to gird
Against a world so hostile and full of pain
Tell me – why would we put ourselves out there again?
But in here – in here it seems so safe and free
A starting-place for acceptance and unity
Finally, a place where others might accept
A person oft-deemed useless and inept
And maybe, some of them might become friends
Oh, how could I ever want this onscreen world to end
Because In Real, the gawky, useless me
Is all I ever think that others see
And crippled so, I don’t let others close
They stay arm’s length away to guard against another dose
Of endorsement of the views which went before
But here, you see, I can be so much MORE
I’m LIKABLE, in part for being unseen
I learned that, ’cause I’m protected by this screen.

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25 comments on “A Hasty Response

  1. bigenderblogger says:

    Reblogged this on The Bigender Blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bigenderblogger says:

    WHOA. This hit me in the heart like the proverbial arrow. Hope you don’t mind that I reblogged it. I love you VERY much both online and IRL, my funny, goofy,fiery, creative, beautiful mess of a best friend. Xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Course I don’t mind, my dear – it’s an HONOUR! Thank you. I know this is one of those topics that historically you’ve been a bit *squroinchy* about, so I’m quite glad to hear you say you liked it.

      And I KNOW you do, you nutter 😀 It’s just that I think I’m a bit of an acquired taste IRL…I was counting the people who are For Real friends, who I would talk for hours with and go out with and who are kind of ‘inner circle’ and I have four. I’m lucky to have that many.

      You’re the BEST one, of course 😀 *huggles*

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Powerful words of truth spoken, so very well done! In a way, we all feel safer behind the screen, and we feel free to share so much more of ourselves because of that, so it serves good purpose!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Samara says:

    You think you’re more likable because this is a carefully edited version of yourself?
    i disagree. You’re likable (no, lovable) here because you’ve poured your heart out to us. We see you. And we choose you. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. amycake76 says:

    I accept you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. hastywords says:

    HIYA…it’s me… 🙂

    I am glad you shared. Without this world I would have never gotten the opportunity to know you in the real world so I am glad for that immensely. Thank you for crossing over and being part of my real life.

    You have no idea because you think you are hidden…and I think I am hidden… but the very essence of us is clear despite the miles, the screen, the editing…

    I know you… and I choose you…

    OK I am gone again… I love you!

    xoxo

    Hasty

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says:

    The screen makes it somehow more comfortable for those who are naturally inclined to be introverted, to hibernate, to make a connection that they might not otherwise make for any number of reasons. Well said.
    And you must know you’re lovable, right???

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      I must know no such thing. The logic brain presents evidence but the emotional brain still struggles to believe it. There are two things going on there 1- that others believe I am lovable (yes, I see that they believe it, and am astounded and so grateful), and 2 – that *I* see myself as lovable. No. Sadly not. But I’m working to undo the doings which have left me in possession of such an opinion.

      I am naturally inclined to be extroverted, but I keep people at arms length, for a long time. Which is why I say I only have 4 close friends IRL.

      Like

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