Samhainophobia (Fear of Halloween)

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** sung to the tune of I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day**

Samhainophobes tremble with fear, as Halloween approaches near,

And pumpkins light the darkest night

As spectral relatives appear!

The little poops from down the street

Drape toilet paper from the trees,

Then have the nads, with open bags

To beg me for a “trick or treat!”

tp_tree_003-776158 source

Instead I sit down very still, outside my kitchen window sill

As a propped scarecrow, in the night shadow,

And give the little cruds a thrill!

Now – they leave in shaking boots,

Don’t know their folks were in cahoots,

And safely head, on up to bed

While their parents eat up all their loot!


 ** It’s actually just the first two verses.

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day


18 comments on “Samhainophobia (Fear of Halloween)

  1. lrconsiderer says:

    Heheh very good indeed. I think we won’t be visited this year – ahhh the luxury of being on the second floor in a building with fob entry.


  2. zoe says:

    gotta pick your kid!


  3. Sarah says:

    Our neighbor does that. It’s impressive. I love picturing you doing it, Zoe.


  4. Fida says:

    A very fun poem, thanks!!


  5. Linda Kay says:

    Zoe, cute poem….we had a neighbor who rigged up a zombie in a grave in his yard and had it sit up with kids came in for candy.


  6. I like the twist on parents at the end. They deserve all that loot!! I wish we celebrated it here, really!


  7. Cindy says:

    This was a fun read! Thanks for sharing. I don’t get many chitlins begging at my door, so i don’t have that problem. And I like giving out candy too.


  8. Rod E. Kok says:

    Hmmm, now I may just have to have some fun tomorrow night! Fun poem 🙂


  9. This was great! And yes, I can picture you doing that! :-))



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