Pantsed, and the Hazards of Weight Loss

 cosmetic-procedures-for-getting-rid-of-turkey-neck-201x300

So I managed to lose twenty pounds,

For which gratitude surely abounds,

but there were side effects

like old Turkey neck,

and others not quite as profound.

***

Now all my pants are quite droopy,

Like some rapper star or her fly groupie.

Since they keep catching

 I no longer look fetching

with my pants past my waist like Dogg Snoopy.

images

As a matter of fact just today,

By my trousers, I again was betrayed

When they caught on my seat

and fell to my feet.

They made quite a showy display.

 ***

So I rapidly yanked them up high,

again they  refused to comply.

When the stitching gave way,

My butt was hence on display.

I do hope my client turned a blind eye.

00OctPoWriMo

 

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30 comments on “Pantsed, and the Hazards of Weight Loss

  1. […] head on over to the Bards […]

    Like

  2. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says:

    Oh my! That’s quite a story!

    Like

  3. dyannedillon says:

    YOU SPLIT YOUR BRITCHES?!

    Like

  4. kj says:

    that’s quite a story
    not one bit gory
    it show how fine
    you are with rhyme
    not to mention
    the clear attention
    of dropping pants
    i hope you danced
    :^)
    well done, zoe
    love
    kj

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well done! And you lost 2o lbs! That is an achievment well worth mentioning.

    Like

  6. lrconsiderer says:

    Ohhh how I love it when you limerick. And with an event like this, how could you not! 😀

    Like

  7. karenspillingwords says:

    Hahahahaha!

    Like

  8. christine says:

    Hahahahahaha! That is all.

    Like

  9. LauraALord says:

    I’ll think of a better comment as soon as I stop laughing. 😀

    Like

  10. This little ditty was every bit as entertaining as the event inspiring it… of course we are laughing WITH you, or so it is PC to say! Never a dull moment in Zoe’s life, and I do hope that if there was a client in your office at the time his/her day was substantially brightened by this brief lapse of covering! I’m still thinking rainbow suspenders is the answer! 🙂

    Like

  11. Sarah says:

    Wow, is that true? Did that really happen? Well, you know what? I bet it made your client more comfortable because you showed a little vulnerability.
    All Brian’s pants are too big, too. He takes Adderall and doesn’t eat enough, and he’s shrunk quite a bit.

    Like

    • zoebyrd says:

      Yeah, but it didnt happen with a client … I did walk around all day with a “Hi my name is” sticker holding the ass of my pants together. I was too close to time to cancel and couldnt find anything to hold my pants together!

      Like

  12. jazzytower says:

    Zoe, this made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

    Like

  13. shanjeniah says:

    What a jaunty little poem you made of a wardrobe disaster! Time for smaller pants, perhaps?

    Like

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