I don’t fear you

You Fear Yourself

I see your fear

Sense your frustration

And feel the ache; the rage

The self-cannibalisation

The hate – I quake: encaged

Because you brought me here

You showed up, stripped

Removed the masks and costumes

You so often wear

And showed me

(Simply)

Yourself.

Scared.

And keen to be

Ridiculous

Because at least

If I can find you silly

You can trust

The voices of the monsters

In your mind

Who tell you

“You’re stupid

Unattractive

Inhumane

Unkind

HOW DARE YOU

Inflict yourself

Upon this world

Don’t you know

You’ve done enough?

Shoudn’t your conscience

By now have unfurled

And wing-ed you away

To dispose of you

And keep you out the way

Of those who

You only hurt

By being there

Wouldn’t it do them a favour

Couldn’t this be a way

To show you CARE?

Just do it!”

They fail, my sweet

‘Cause stripped

I love you more

No masquerade

No costumes

No furore

There’s no need

Anymore.

You fear yourself

The same way I fear me

I don’t fear you

For we’re the same, you see

I know those voices –

I have the same set, too

My monsters seem

Akin to those in you

They tell me things

I know you understand

(And yet, you see their lies

As indeed you see your own

Yet to the voices we condone

We’re blind) so take my hand

And hold me close –

You watch my back

And I’ll watch yours.

Together we are stronger;

Of this, in unsafe world,

I am quite sure

And truly feel

With eyes on one another

Fingers interlinked

And speaking TRUTHS

That we could be

Each others shield

For if we cannot fight

The monsters

In our own heads

Perhaps we’ll have

More luck

Fighting

Each others ones

Instead.

 

00OctPoWriMo

 

Also linking up with Hasty’s 31 DAYS OF HORROR

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38 comments on “I don’t fear you

  1. wandapsycho says:

    I have those voices, but I never did find anyone who accepted that aspect of me. I only found those who used it against me. I even had one so-called romantic partner who told me I brought all the bad things that happened to me on myself. I suppose in a way it was true; after all, I didn’t have the self-esteem to listen to my instincts and keep him out of my life in the first place.
    As well, suicide ideation is something that so few people understand. Talking about suicidal feelings is taboo, and everyone freaks out and tells a person expressing such feelings to go to the E.R. As Team Netherworld’s founder Cie Cheesemeister says, “If I went to the E.R. every time I had a suicidal thought, I’d have to live there.”
    Some people get very uncomfortable when folks express dark thoughts in their writing. Personally, I find it extremely refreshing.
    http://poetryofthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2014/10/octpowrimo-2014-day-8.html

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      I’ve never yet been averse – I find that if I can weave it into something good and poetic, then at least there’s THAT!

      I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such sucky people around you though 😦

      Like

  2. Bastet says:

    Wow … what a write!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. valj2750 says:

    Oh, those negative voices. Great poem. And when we get real and shed the masks and the costumes, our own little selves are more lovable to everyone but ourselves. This reminds me to take the risk. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Yes, though it’s worth finding people we trust FIRST, because otherwise it can be a di-SAH-ster! Risks can be alright though. Sometimes. And thanks – I’m glad you like this 🙂

      Like

  4. And this is why the support of friendship is so important!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Fida says:

    This really touched me. It’s beautiful. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well done. Inspiring me to pick up the poetry pen again.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I could see myself in this, but I’m not Carly Simon. (I’ll let you figure that one out in time.)
    Excellent poem, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Nope, I’m there 🙂 I got it (and I at least knew it had to be music!) I wrote it in response to one of Hasty’s, but….it fits for more than just her, because of the nature of those monsters. Innit.

      And thank you 🙂 (I like when you like my poems…I feel like you know what you’re on about, and it’s a bit gratifying, cherie… 🙂 )

      Like

  8. Twindaddy says:

    Well done, Lizzi. Well done indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So well said! So many of us dance with those demons of self doubt and despair, and I totally agree with you that we can banish them far more easily if we work on it together!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jazzytower says:

    Powerful!!! I hope spilling it on paper lightened you up some. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. zoebyrd says:

    So many of us struggle with the lonliness of those demons and thoughts… funny how we are not alone but feel more so because of them.. none the less… you portrayed that completely even in how you structured this poem… its so stark … the few words per line and all flush to the left… that physical structure actually adds to the lonely sort of experience of the content. Does that make any sense? Hope so…

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      It makes sense. And I am adept at feeling alone whilst SURROUNDED by people telling me they want my company, so…

      Thank you – I’m glad you think this captured it well 🙂 I like the few words thing – I borrowed that, but I really like how it works for this kind of thing.

      Like

  12. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to trust, to really take the masks off? Instead of being terrified people would scream in horror

    Like

  13. Beautifully crafted. Clearly your own experience of those demons allowed you to enter the head of your friend and that shows real empathy. We all walk with our demons. I got lucky, survived the worst of them and accepted the rest – that shut them up. I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Thanks Maria. And yes – in one sense having those demons yourself does allow you to be a lot more empathetic and supportive to someone else suffering the same thing, which is great. It’s all about the Silver Linings.

      I’m glad you survived yours. Bravo – it’s not easy.

      Like

  14. Well done Lizzi! I really enjoyed this poem.

    Liked by 1 person

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