My Un-Tapestried Friend

So, I got dumped by a friend. And found out about it gradually, piece by piece until I could see the extent of the quiet ‘cutting out’ which had been done on me. It sucks. So I wrote it outta me:

Tapestry Heart

My dear, I guess you were only for a season

Now I know for sure, and properly so

And though it’s awful – not knowing the reason

I won’t fight for you, if you want to go

 

We both recall the moment of the ‘click’

And how we very suddenly fell in friends

A bidding war and the place a fork should stick

Brought happiness, poetry, light and fun new trends

 

For months we wove our lives’ cords close together

Talking daily, spurring each other on

I *know* it’s true; not everyone’s forever

But it hurt me deeply to find that you were gone

 

My rubber-band heart was truly hooked

Your friendship, part of this woman’s history

But when I turned around and really looked

I realised you’d taken your threads out of my tapestry

 

I noticed you withdrawing but didn’t like to ask

It was nothing I could put my finger on, you see

But I felt it falter; no longer quite steadfast

As you went about removing you; un-picking me

 

I wonder when you decided not to care

And when our friendship became an empty shell

I see you talking with friends who we still share

My dear, I only ask you treat them well

 

It’s not my nature to cling when others depart

I’d prefer it wasn’t so, but what can I do?

So I’ll be here nursing my tattered woven heart

With gaps in the all the places that once held you

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30 comments on “My Un-Tapestried Friend

  1. zoebyrd says:

    😦 hard stuff.
    You seem to have handled this well without animosity . Not easy. Well done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Samara says:

    this makes me really sad. It’s beautiful, but it’s still sad. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Linda Kay says:

    It’s really a lovely poem. But I decided long ago that some friends aren’t worth having if they don’t put you first. It’s hard to say what happened with your friend, but it probably more about her than about you. Chin up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Thanks for that thought, Linda. I think I’d feel more secure in that kind of assessment if I understood more about what had happened to end things.I’m sure it’s at *least* as much to do with her as it is to do with me, but it still sucks :/

      You’re right though, I guess – onwards and upwards. Sometimes people leave you, and there’s nothing to be done about it.

      Like

  4. Twindaddy says:

    *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  5. marisab04 says:

    Well done I think this is what they call the high road …sorry you have to go through this

    Love the poem perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Thanks 🙂 I like the poem as well. It helped (a little) to write it, and to know that at least somehow, something good was coming out of the sadness, even if it was just a poem.

      I’m not keen on the high road. Fortunately I have plenty of wonderful friends there still, so I’m not going it alone. #SilverLinings

      Liked by 2 people

      • marisab04 says:

        Wow you said what I was thinking – I’m not a fan of the high road either…yet I often compromise to get there at least i’m in good company. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • lrconsiderer says:

          True, true. It’s always morr tempting to cry and lick our wounds and have a good bitch about it, but in the end it doesn’t serve us, and only engenders bitterness – something I’m not prepared to have in my life. Not for this. Not because someone un-chose me and stopped caring. There are others who care HUGELY…I’m not prepared to let this take me down.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. christine says:

    I second Linda Kay! I’m sorry you are sad and that this friendship isn’t continuing as you thought/hoped it would, but don’t assume that the friendship is over because of you or something you did or didn’t do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      Well it’s certainly not for want of trying on my part to keep it going, I know that much. I kind of feel that I must have done *something* though, because who goes from being a great friend you speak with every day, to nothing, for absolutely no reason at all? That surely doesn’t happen?

      Like

  7. serins says:

    ((HUGS)) when one door closes…..

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, Lizzi, I’m so sorry. I think it’s kind of cruel to not tell a friend why. I have had a few I’ve had to break up with. But I generally write a letter explaining. And in those cases they surely knew the reason. I have one friend who slowly pulled away and I’ll never know why. I emailed her once trying to apologize if I’d done anything wrong. I wasn’t even trying to salvage the friendship (like you, I don’t want someone to stay if they don’t want to. And I WON’T chase someone) but I just wanted to know. It’ll will always bother me and always have me guessing. A simple explanation, even if it was “I just don’t enjoy your company anymore” would have been helpful. So sorry you are left with this lingering question… *hugs* (and it was a beautiful poem)

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      I’ve only ever had to break up with one close friend and it was awful but there were cast-iron reasons. I don’t drift. I won’t chase. But it sucks to have that query, and I’m sorry you know this too. Feeling unresolved is not the easiest.

      But poem, anyway, and here’s to friends who stay 🙂 #SilverLinings

      Like

  9. Michelle says:

    How lovely and how sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I sucks to be hurt by a friend. I’ve had it happen to me before. I feel like I’ve been slacking in the support my friends area lately even you who I love to read. I am feeling overwhelmed and can’t seem to find enough hours in the day. I can’t stand to let people down. Lately I feel like I’ve been doing it alot. Life gets messy and then I’m thrown off and can’t catch up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      It really does suck to be hurt by a friend in this way. Well…ex-friend, I suppose I should say.

      But regarding your levels of support and your ability to keep up with everyone you feel you ought to – remember that life happens in seasons, and EVERYONE will have periods of ‘too busy’ and ‘overwhelmed’…and also remember that you don’t OWE anyone anything – not support, not comments, not shares, not encouragement – you are NOT beholden, therefore you’re not letting anyone down. What you manage to do is lovely, but you’re not ever obligated – not to me, not to anyone.

      Stop. Breathe. Catch up with life, and the rest will fall into place. Don’t force it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Spoken like a TRUE friend! On a cleaning mission at home today that always clears my mind out. Scrubbing toilets will do that for you lol! Should be writing but it will come! Thanks for the wake up call Lizzi I needed that!

        Liked by 1 person

        • lrconsiderer says:

          Ick! But at least you have a nice, clean environment in which to live, so yes – there’s achievement in that, and success and good things. I find that having a clean, tidy house helps to settle my mind. Which is probably why my mind is so often unsettled – I’m not a good housekeeper, and Husby’s worse than I am! Glad the wake-up call helped 🙂

          Like

  11. valj2750 says:

    Nothing helps letting something go better than writing about it. Sometimes a person is in your life so you can learn from it. Looks like that happened and you did. The hard part, to me, would be not really knowing why and missing the friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lrconsiderer says:

      The missing her is the worst bit. And yeah, I learned some lovely things from her, but thinking about them just makes me a bit sadder because of the ‘missing’ part.

      But it helped to write about it.

      Like

  12. Wow. You must have screwed up badly. People don’t just slip out of people’s lives unless they are very offended. Remember folks, you can’t trust first-person-narrative. There is always another side.

    Like

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