Guest Bard: My Name Is…

I’m feeling so drunk
But I have’t been drinking
I’m not even here
I haven’t been thinking

My mind is made up and it won’t stop sinking
It’s going to implode in a way I’m not thinking

It’s all messed up; I failed again
Same old story and it’s stale, my friend
I’ve seen it, heard it, got the tee
But I’ve never been able to be just me

My cloud is my cover but
My cover is cracked
I’m living my life riding piggy back
My supporters who hold me and raise me up high
I’m on my own feet now
But fell down and died
I’m fainting and fitting and having a seizure
This is the only way I’ll ever see ya
Helping and reaching and trying to teach
The space in my head that’s a
Double-dutch niche

I’m failing at life and I cant even see,
The first step that Everyone took before me
When we were sixteen and planning our lives
Yours took off, but mine just died
I failed and failed and failed again
“Why do I keep trying?” I said to my brain
“It’s weak to give up and you’re not done yet
But I’m sweating the small stuff”,
I cried in my bed

I feel like I’m dying and going in deep
To the darkness that rests beneath my feet

The peace, the dark
The everlasting heart
The love of my life
In the the death of my part

I feel your presence with every step I take
You’re waiting for the time when I make a mistake
To come down hard and take my life
I’m still living
Already been knifed

My wounds are seeping my life away
With every step, I lose a day
The light I can see
But just out of reach
Screaming, begging, the voice in my head
It might just be me seeing eyes of dread
The darkness that covers me and locks me inside
I did, I did it, I fell down and died

People will remember the shining girl
Who reached and tried
But just could’t survive
She was good and kind
But hated herself
All because of me,
A cheeky little elf

My name is Depression
I am a murderer of the living

 

Depression Talking

Introducing Sarah; Guest Bard Extraordinaire, for she is not a blogger, nor (yet) a writer, but she is certainly a poet. It’s alright though – it runs in the family – she’s Lizzi’s Sister, and mother of Niece and Neff 🙂

 

Bards’ Verdict:An incredibly powerful piece, with raw emotion and Very Deep Feels.

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10 comments on “Guest Bard: My Name Is…

  1. msenecal68 says:

    Wow! Just wow! How powerful a message! What incredible family talent! Lizzi, you have been hiding the rest of your wonderfully talented family from us!!

    Like

  2. […] today I collected my next story for Tales from the Van. And my very own sister is this week’s Guest Bard. So YIPPEEEEEE […]

    Like

  3. Christine says:

    Wow, Sarah! That is one powerful poem! While I am impressed with your work, it makes me sad that you know the beast that is depression well enough to write about it this well.
    I was awfully bummed that I didn’t get to meet you and the kids. The cake you made was so sparkly and yummy!
    Hope we get to hear more from you!

    Like

    • Sarah says:

      Thank you for your comments guys! This ones a bit of yuck subject but it definitely makes the point.
      Christine: i would have loved to have come and met you 🙂 children always seem to be sick at the most inappropriate moments! *must have a words with them germs* very pleased you enjoyed the cake x

      Cal68: really loving the “wow’s” thanks 🙂 i’m hoping this might be the start of some more writing but hopefully with some better subjects!

      Thanks for all your support everyone, specially my host bean, lizzi. I’ve never put any of my writtings in public view before and i find myself overwhelmed by any response! 🙂 also, very encouraged to write some more maybe

      God bless y’all x

      Like

  4. zoebyrd says:

    SO Sarah, you seem to share the familial writing gene, yes? Too bad the depressive gene is prevalent enough to be able to write such a stunning piece of work… but whew! it is a STUNNER! NICELY done! Not a writer? Not buying it! …sorry it took me so long to get here… seems wordpress has ironically dropped me from my own blog! HMMMM…. gotta go figure it out!!! Thanks so much for guest barding… Im gonna go pimp you out on rewritten for tomorrow!!!

    Like

    • sarahsboat says:

      Zoe, thank you so much for such an amazing comment! I’m truly honoured by your words 🙂
      I’m so encouraged by these responses that i’m making my own blog over at wreckageandtreasure.wordpress.com (lizzi- am i allowed to advertise that on here or is it not the done thing?)
      It’s a working progress so is not much yet but i’m hoping to work on it

      Also, i completely agree with you all. The subject matter is a bit deep & dark, not my favourite by far. I chose it as my first piece to share because i liked the way the words fitted together. However, treasures may be found in the wreckage
      Sarah x

      Like

  5. sarahsboat says:

    P.s zoe/lizzi; ‘pimp me out on rewritten’; i presume this means sharing my post on another blog and is truly wonderful and amazing and sparkly. However i am shamefully unaware of the ins and outs of this blogging world so i must check? :op

    Like

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