The Dumbest Thing

 T’was late at night in VideoChat
(We bloggers know where fun is at)
And just for larks our thoughts did turn
To lessons that in life we’d learned

Further then, and just for fun
We shared the dumbest things we’d done
I told my tale and then right after
All were left quite weak with laughter

I thought I’d better write it here
To share around the Blogosphere
And if you can read without rolling eyes
You’ll win a special little prize

Cause sharing laughter is great fun
And my dumb tale is REALLY dumb
If you’re successful let me know
Down in the comment box below.

When I was just a little kid
So many silly things I did
That through the sieve of mem’ry fell
But this one I remember well

The tale begins (and it’s all true)
With a super-special-awesome shoe
And a bored young girl who thought she’d see
How awesome her new shoes could be

In garden then, begun her thought
(Somehow without what logic taught)
She looked around to find a test
To prove her shoes were just the best

From underneath the garden shed
The perfect thing poked out (she said)
A mouldy oldy wooden plank
In middle of which a nail was sank

What test was there which wouldn’t fail
And used that big, long, rusty nail?
Then she realised what she’d do
She’d fly like superheroes do

And with her new shoes’ awesome might
‘Pon tip of rusty nail alight
And balance there with perfect poise
(With games like this, who needed toys?)

And having balanced, then leap down
And take a bow and turn around
With confidence now tried and true
In the super-powers of her shoe

(You must see where this story leads
And if not, be certain you pay heed
“Stupidity, youth and rusty nail”
The perfect cautionary tale)

She hunkered down, and without care
Sprang up into the glittering air…
This plan was not with logic join’t
And she very quickly got the point

As onto it she swiftly sailed
To land and find her foot impaled
In embarrassment and pain, the wail
“I just hopped on a rusty nail”

Did ere alert her doting aunt
Who ran right out and said “I can’t
BELIEVE this – oh it’s really bad”
And quickly went to fetch her dad

To hospital he took the kid
And told her off for what she did
An x-ray then, was took to see
What sort of damage there might be

Yet in a quite unlikely twist
The important bits had all been missed
But rust had still been in that cut
So she got a tetanus shot in the butt

Home again she was allowed
Her shoes no longer made her proud
For they were wrecked in such a way
They instantly got thrown away

And our girlie was at length berated
For all the trouble she’d created
It was a lesson thoroughly learned;
Forsure I’ve ne’er again been burned

But though my foot was very sore
There was one thing which hurt much more
And it was this – I finally knew
I didn’t have a super-shoe.

Linking up with the Silly on Sunday blog hop

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24 comments on “The Dumbest Thing

  1. Christine says:

    For the love, you had to write about this in a poem!?!?! It doesn't make me wig out any less when the story rhymes. Oh, the cringing I do whenever I think about this!

    Like

  2. Lizzi R says:

    Ohhhh your reaction was PRICELESS 😀

    Like

  3. Zoe Byrd says:

    Nope….no prize here…toes curled…still skeeved out!

    Like

  4. Lizzi R says:

    Damnnnnnnn and you even KNEW the story!

    Like

  5. Lizzi R says:

    I wasn't happy. Not even a little bit. And my shoes were busted *sigh*

    Like

  6. Lizzi, you are BRILLIANT! and HILARIOUS! I LOVE your poem! You have mad rhyming skillz, yo! Add a bass beat, and you'd have a rockin' rap!

    Like

  7. Lizzi R says:

    Owww I never EVER thought of trying to rap this! Yipes. I give you FULL PERMISSION to borrow the poem and turn it into a vlog of YOU doing it 😉

    And thanks 😀

    Like

  8. Ruth Cox says:

    Oh, what a delightful poem of the event of the day, but OUCH!

    Like

  9. Lizzi R says:

    Glad you enjoyed it, Ruth! It certainly was sore. But I was a lucky kid not to sustain some serious damage 😀

    Like

  10. I'm so sorry you didn't actually take off in flight. Wouldn't that have been cool?

    Like

  11. Lizzi R says:

    It was the balancing I really wanted – I had this vision of how totally awesome it would look if I could balance, absolutely perfectly, on the tip of that nail…

    Like

  12. Joy Christi says:

    Well I didn't anyone could make a rusty nail in the foot whimsical, but look at HercuLiz, at creative writing she's a wiz.
    Yeah I'll leave the rhymes to you, m'Lady! Well done, too. I usually cringe at rhymes, this one was very well-timed.
    Ah, what have you unleashed? Put it back, this ugly beast!

    Like

  13. Joy Christi says:

    Glad you didn't lose a foot!

    Like

  14. Lizzi R says:

    You just made me smile SO HARD 😀 ❤

    Like

  15. Lizzi R says:

    I am, too! I don't fancy the nickname 'Hopalong'…

    Like

  16. Bryan Jones says:

    It was worth a try – you might have morphed into a new superhero!

    Like

  17. bethteliho says:

    Lizzi, I read this the other day but was on my phone- grrrrr! anyway, hopped back over to tell you how much I LOVE it!! So clever and funny! And—not you did NOT stab yourself with a rust nail?!?! hahaha!

    Like

  18. Lizzi R says:

    I was going to be SuperShoeGirl. It totally would've worked if it hadn't all gone horribly wrong…

    Like

  19. Lizzi R says:

    Oh cool! Glad you liked it 🙂 And yeah, I actually did this. I'm *that* dumb. At least when I'm dumb I'm hilarious…

    Like

  20. Jean says:

    no prize won here!!! 😉 but YOU get an award for an awesome poem! That was a ripping yarn all right and exactly what I would have done, were I you! I was too busy putting party poppers in the family electric outlets and switching on the lights to “see what would happen” however. xox jeh

    Like

  21. I think you could put some beats to this and make it rap. Maybe send it to Kanye. I once jumped off of the roof onto a trampoline. Actually, I did that all the time, but I once missed. I'm pretty sure I broke a rib, but I never ever told my mom b/c the one time she saw me jump from the roof to the trampoline that if she promised me that if she ever caught me again….well, CPS wasn't that strict back then.

    Like

  22. Lizzi R says:

    What DID happen? I want to do that now, to see! Did one zap you?

    And no prize? What, you rolled your eyes? You must already know me and my silly ways too well 🙂

    Like

  23. Lizzi R says:

    We had a little roof next to my bedroom window, and I always wished that I'd climbed out of it. I never did though. The repercussions would NOT have been worth the risk. But you broke a rib!?!?!?!?!? Good grief! You were a hardcore kid!

    (I did used to climb as high as my bedroom window in the apple tree at the end of the garden though. And sometimes the silver birch, but I used to get yelled at for that, because the branches in the birch were less strong)

    Like

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