The Ballad of the Redneck Two

Our Bobby-Joe and Betty-Lou
Found they had shopping still to do
Yet still they sat there, quite replete
Chattin’ on Facebook an’ sendin’ Tweets

Til Betty-Lou (who was getting’ cold
And wanted food ‘fore the night grew old)
Said “Bobby-Joe, you move yer ass
An’ we’ll get these groceries done real fast

‘Cause elsewise we’ll run outta time
You KNOW the store’s gon’ close at nine!”
So Bobby-Joe fetched bags galore
And off they went to the Lidl’est store

Yet just gettin’ into their old red car
That Bobby-Joe done grab too fa-
St and the handle stuck. Embarrassed coughs
While Betty-Lou screeched “OH F*** OFF!”

Off they went, still cold and shiverin’
Wishing Lidl did deliverin’
They bickered together the whole way round
But as a team, the items found

The trolley was pushed by Bobby-Joe
Betty-Lou kept the list and so
Eventually, the groceries done
They turned and left (still arguin’ on)

Across the car-park, now quite cloudy
They kept up the loud and rowdy
They jostled and yelled and bums got pinched
Slow but sure they homeward inched

They loaded up from the back of the car
To carry the bags (not very far)
But Betty-Lou ended up with more
In spite of how her feet were sore

Said B-J “I need this hand free
To give me some dexterity
To open the door for you, you hag!”
B-L hit him with her bag

So he chased her up the stairs
Not wondering if the neighbours cared
They screeched and whittered with all their might
There’s nothing like a shopping fight

And yet once they were through the door
They were transformed – became once more
That respectable couple you all know
The reserved and elegant Lizzi and Joe


7 comments on “The Ballad of the Redneck Two

  1. zoe says:

    Sniff…my new go-to heartwarmer for the holidays!


  2. Considerer says:

    Ha! As you can see – it's gone down REAL well 😉 I guess people don't like readin' redneck 😉


  3. Zoe Byrd says:

    The only thing that has brought in comments for me has been putting a link to it on my other site or entering it in a hop… Maybe that would help…you certainly have interested traffic on Considerer ….


  4. Considerer says:

    Ahhhh I should do that. I tried sharing it on FB but nada. Oh well 🙂 We shall see about linking it from Considerings in due time. Maybe Friday for Quick Takes.

    I'll give 10 Awesome Points each to everyone who finds it before then 😀


  5. Zoe Byrd says:

    just read it again…do I get 20?


  6. Considerer says:

    You get 100 for finding it first 😀 :p Did you read what I've got at Considerings today? That might be up your street. I joined in with Josie Two Shoes for the story thing 😀


  7. Ginger says:

    This is awesomely hilarious!



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